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Tuesday, 02 December, 2008, 13:20.06
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News: All personal disputes MUST be kept off the forum or action will be taken against all parties.
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Author
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Topic: It's crap scouser jokes day! (Read 128 times)
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SizeableHustle
Supporter Trusted
First Team
Karma: 457
 Online
Posts: 867
I am not a monkey. Nil carborundum illegitimi.
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A primary teacher starts a new job at a school on Mersyside and, trying to make a good impression on her first day, explains to her class that she is a Liverpool fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Liverpool fans. Everyone in the class raises their hand expect one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise and says: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I'm not a Liverpool fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked: "Well if your not a Liverpool fan, then who are you a fan of?"
"I'm a Manchester City fan, and proud of it," Mary replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears.
"Mary, why, pray tell, are you a City fan?"
"Because my mum and dad are from Manchester, and my mum is a City fan and my dad is a City fan, so I'm a City fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, in a obviously annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a City fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all the time. What if your mum was a prostitute and you dad was a drug dealer and car theif, what what you be then?"
"Then," Mary smiled, "I'd be a Liverpool fan."
Rafael Benitez: "Our new Winger cost twenty five million. I call him our wonder player"
Sir Alex Ferguson: "Why's that?"
Rafael Benitez: "Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!"
Q: What's is the differance between Pamela Anderson and the Liverpool goal?
A: Pam's only got two tits in front of her
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an intelligent Liverpool supporter and an old drunk are walking down the street together when simultaneously they each spot a fifty quid note. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course - the other 3 are mythical creatures.
Q: What do Liverpool Fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 200,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How can you tell a level headed Liverpool supporter?
A: He dribbles from both sides of his mouth - at the same time.
Q: What do you get if you cross a Monkey with a Liverpudlian?
A: Nothing. The monkeys are far too clever to screw a Liverpudlian.
Q: What is the difference between a battery and a scouser fan?
A: A battery has a positive side.
A father and son were eating breakfast. The fathers newspaper had the headline "Van Gogh sold for £8 million".
The son asked "is he worth it, Dad?", to which the father, surprised at his son's interest in fine art, replied "I suppose so, son. Why do you ask?"
The son said "Well, Liverpool paid more than that for Stan Collymore, and he was crap"
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« Last Edit: Thursday, 04 October, 2007, 02:15.22 by Manos de Piedra »
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Logged
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If I fall over I am going to make sure that I land on something soft.
Now I wanna sniff some glue
Now I wanna have somethin' to do
All the kids wanna sniff some glue
All the kids want somethin' to do.
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